Monday, August 22, 2011

Little Blessings.....

As I'm sitting here at 4am with Andrew who had woke up at about 3am possibly due to a seizure, after only 3 hours of sleep,  I take the time to reflect over my weekend.  Saturday was a pretty hard day for Andrew, and the rest of the family as well.  He was upset on and off throughout the morning.  He could be settled down for brief periods of time.  Then the afternoon hit.  Well, it was a 2 hour tantrum that didn't stop.  We (my daughter, Emily and I) had tried everything.  We couldn't figure out what was bothering him so much.  It's very frustrating not to be able to understand what you're child either wants or needs.  I finally reached for a prescription medication that is for itching.  His eczema had really flared up and he still itched a lot periodically from his burn wounds.  This medication is actually an anti-anxiety medication, but works well for itching and can also act as an antihistamine.  So, I finally resorted to this after not knowing anything else to do for him.  After giving him the medication, 30 minutes later he was resting against my chest, in my bed, and sound asleep.  As I watched him look so peaceful, I thought to myself, "Thank you God for the wonders of modern day medicine."  During the time that Andrew was having his 2 hour episode, Matthew (my other son), came out of his room almost in tears was wanting to know what was wrong with Andrew.  He told me to make him stop as he sat on the couch with his blanket, hands over his ears, and shaking.  Matthew, we believe is high functioning Autistic, has many sensory issues.  We try to explain about his brother, but having special needs himself, he is unable to understand.  He cannot understand that Andrew is not doing these things to bother him.  He believes Andrew is getting upset a lot to bother just him.  I tell him, trust me it bothers all of us, but Andrew really can't help it.  After Andrew was asleep, and I left the room, Matthew asked, "Is he better now?"  I thought to myself maybe he does understand a little and how sweet it was of him to ask about his little brother, even though I'm sure it was because he was so glad not to be listening to him fussing, crying, kicking, etc.

After Andrew had been sleeping about an hour, I peeked in to check on him and witnessed him having one of his seizures.  I felt so guilty as a mother for not recognizing this sooner.  This had been going on for months.  After it was over, he sat up and was distraught. I gently leaned him back, rubbed him, and comforted him back to sleep while trying to reassure him it was okay.  I thank God for the blessing of being able to find out what had been keeping Andrew awake all this time.

Later that evening he woke up in a good mood.  He sat and looked at pictures on the computer.  He loves looking at family pictures.  Every time he sees me in a picture he says, "Ma.....Ma," very slowly and using all the muscles in his mouth to just form these simple words.  This makes my heart melt every time, as this is the only time I hear him call me mama.  Hey, I'll take anything I can get, even if it's only from a picture.  Thank you God for this wonderful blessing to hear those words.  I'm sure there are many mothers that may never get to hear those words, therefore I'm very grateful for these utterances he makes even if he doesn't directly call me that.  I long for the day to come that he does. 

Saturday night, a miracle occurred, Andrew slept all night long.  I found him on the couch, so I know he got up at least once, but he didn't even wake me up.  I forgot what it was like to actually get more than a couple hours of sleep.  My body must have been somewhat adjusted to the lack of sleep, because I woke up with a horrible headache.  I thought, I should feel great, but I didn't.  However, I was thankful for the blessing that my son had also had a restful night of sleep for the first time in many months.

On Sunday, he was very sleepy most of the day.  One of his medications comes in a patch and it is changed on Saturday mornings.  This usually makes him pretty sleepy on Sundays.  We went to homecoming at my home church and he slept on me the entire time.  I sat there thinking of all the little blessings I receive through Andrew on a daily basis, no matter how bad the day may have been.  Just like Saturday; it was a bad day most of the day, but by the end of the day I heard him say, "Ma....Ma."  That just made the day a wonderful day through that one small blessing.  It's these little blessings that get me through my days.  Andrew has taught us to delight in the simple things that most others take for granted.  Dear God, Thank you for giving us Andrew to teach us so much! 

1 comment:

  1. Hey loving the blog! i am here for you!!!!!!!!!