Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I Never Imagined...

I never imagined that my life would be where it is now.  If someone had told me 6 years ago that I would be where I am now, I would have looked at them like they were crazy.  I view my situation as one of those we think of happening to others.  I would have never in a million years have expected to be on this journey.  I have learned more in the last six years than in the first 32 years of my life.  Each day is a remarkable learning experience with Andrew. 

Being a mother is a selfless job.  However, being a mother of a special needs child takes "selfless" to a whole new level.  If someone would have told me that my hobbies would consist of; researching medical and developmental struggles that my boys face to better understand them and provide them the help they need, researching and learning the special education laws, understanding my rights as a parent and my child's rights regarding their education, advocating for both my boys, educating myself on how an Individual Education Plan should and should not be written, spending many hours at IEP meetings and locating an advocate for these meetings when my child's education needs aren't being met, searching for community services available for disabled children, educating others about children with disabilities, promoting acceptance, and the most important hobby of all...caring for Andrew's complex needs. My life is not filled with my dreams or desires.  Neither is it filled with whether or not my boys are involved in the latest activities and sports of their typical peers.  Instead, it is filled with ways to provide for both my boys' needs, and my daughter's.

I still wish there was so much more that I could do to help my boys.  Many days, I feel as though I'm just not doing enough.  Others tell me that I'm such a strong person, when actually I feel very weak.  I never imagined.....   However, everything I do now has a meaningful purpose and I plan to use my life to somehow make a difference for others.